Allow people to persuade themselves

I talked in the previous post about the "ying and yang of persuasion." And about borrowing the soft hands techniques of Tai Chi - where you use the force of an opponents argument to your advantage.
Allowing somebody to persuade themselves towards the outcome you want is undoubtably the best form of persuasion. I'm convinced of it - it's what I've been observing in business for over 40 years.

I first consciously applied it in sales. Not as a salesman but as an Area Sales Manager - the best job there is in which to learn and practice influence and persuasion. Because it exposes you to situations every day: Sitting in on a sales interview where with a coach's 3rd party perspective you see and feel so much more than when you're actually doing the selling.  And as a Manager and coach - encouraging people with different needs and personalities to meet team goals and standards.
 Generally speaking people don't want to be told what to do.  And that is definitely the case if you suggest that what they're doing isn't good enough.  So launching in with a direct "I think this is what you should do" approach just doesn't work. You'll most probably get a defensive reaction. If you don't ...then the chances are you're being temporarily tolerated ...just for a quiet life. Once you're gone with no commitment made they revert to old ways and attitudes.
I was reminded of all this when catching up with one of the old team from those early days and we talked about the success of the team and in particular the dynamics of area meetings.

Apart from revelling in the flattery which was very enjoyable it was good to hear how he had taken on board and applied the same approach in his subsequently successful career:
At meetings he would establish and agree the team goal.
Then invite suggestions on tactics - and lead towards  consensus on the preferred tactic - which happened of course to be his choice too.
With ownership of tactics secure he would invite the first bids on individual targets and identify the predictable gap.
Then allow further debate to shapen up the tactics followed by further bids - knowing just as he had years previously that personal conviction plus a bit of self-esteem would ensure an achievable but stretching pledge would fill the gap!
Then he would confirm commitment - again remembering just how he would always achieve any target he'd agreed and committed to - and knowing full well that I would probably have settled for less!