Why is it that some people just don't trust our advice?

Beep! ...Beeep!! ...Beeeeeeep!!! The increasing annoyance was enough to get my attention as I stood waiting to cross the inner ring road to the town centre. But when I looked around I didn't recognise the car twenty odd yards away. However it was pretty clear that the driver wanted my attention as she frantically beckoned me towards her.  I walked back over...intrigued by this interest in me?   "I need to get back onto the A43 for Northampton" she hurriedly explained, "....and the signs were not clear!"   I offered her an ironic "Good morning!" wondering what "unclear" signs could possibly have lead her into this cul-de-sac car park for the nearby church.

"No problem!" I said. "You just need to get back out onto the ring road, carry on heading south and you'll pick up the A43 and Northampton signs." I waited for the thank you. "But I need to be in Northampton for a meeting at 10 o'clock!" she replied in an agitated state that quickly worsened to irritated when she asked "Where am I now?"   By now I am thinking that a little bit of graciousness wouldn't go amiss! I said "you're on the north side of town and you just need to carry on heading south!"   "Shall I ask somebody who knows the way?" was the unbelieveable comeback!! "Is he going there?" she asked, pointing to a bemused cabby about to park up for a smoke.
"I know the way! Just go back out of this road into this traffic and follow the ring road round"
"How do I get out of here?"  I think the cabby must have seen the look of disbelief on my face!!! I showed her how to reverse into a space, and then carefully explained how she would be driving "in front of that lamp post and getting in behind these cars that are passing us!!!!!"
As it happened I knew the cabby from way back. So as the lady drove off we inevitably got into stereotypical bloke mode....talking about women and their navigation instincts. But as I continued walking into town I thought more about the conversation with the lost driver. Why didn't she have confidence in my ability to help her? Why did she seem incapable of listening?  Of course the answer was she couldn't trust the advice of somebody who didn't seem to appreciate her predicament. She had a real problem. She was lost and late. And there was himself saying "no problem!" There was no empathy...and no rapport.
The joke on me was we that we talk about this all the time in training. We call it Pacing and Leading. The need to empathise with a person's state. In this case to share concern for being lost...for being late. Not just talk about it, but show it as well....matching state and feelings. Then when state and feelings are in rapport to offer credible advice on how to get out of the situation we are in. I'll remember next time.
So when somebody is really worked up over something, be they a lost motorist or an angry customer.  Let them see from voice, body language and remarks that there is empathy for their agitated state....then they will believe that you want to help them and can help them.

For more tips and advice on how to communicate and influence others visit http://www.persuadability.co.uk/

Why we should think before we present!

"I went shopping for things they didn't have!"  was the wonderful bit of Irishness uttered by my partner's mother after a visit to the supermarket.  "Well that was a waste of time wasn't it!" I ironically and perhaps unkindly observed.

Of course we all grasped what she meant and we were teasing. But it is another reminder of how the meaning of words is so easily misinterpreted. And another opportunity for me to have a quick rant about the importance of preparation when it comes to presenting.

It is the case though that the meaning of what others hear often differs from the meaning of what we say. As well as that. How many times have you made a presentation only to think afterwards..."I wish now that I had said it this way!"

We spend a lot of time putting together written documents such as a business proposal. We wouldn't dream of submitting it without reading it through and making those inevitable tweaks. Yet we're so often happy to "busk" a presentation.

 And yes, you are probably guessing where I'm heading with this? Rehearsal! There really isn't a good enough excuse for not properly rehearsing those important presentations. There are several options to go with:

1. From the old favourite and the simplest...standing in front of the bathroom mirror.
2. To the "High tech" options of voice recording software. Free downloads are out there and the additional benefit of this method is that you can listen to your presentation and see how it synchronises with your speaker support slides.
3. Or as a 3rd option, why not ask a colleague to present to you. You will see things with greater objectivity because somebody else is delivering the message. It is also especially useful if you can sit and listen with the assumed mindset of the prospective audience and feel how the message impacts on you.

Whatever method you choose. It has got to be worth listening to yourself before you speak, we don't want to go shopping for things they haven't got, do we! 

  Bob Howard-Spink is a Partner in Persuadability. For more tips and advice on improving the presentation of your business messages visit http://www.persuadability.co.uk/ 

   

What I really meant to say was!

Stopping to ask somebody for directions this morning I was reminded how often we find this simple request so difficult. Most of us probably think afterwards "No, what I should have said was.......!"    My all time favourite example of comic-direction came from a chap who said "go down this road and turn right where the old cinema used to be!!!!!!" 
Of course he understood perfectly what he meant.  "Where the cinema used to be" made complete sense in his world.
It's surprising how often we sit in conferences and listen to presenters who seem to suffer that same problem. To them, the meaning of what they say is quite clear. Unfortunately they haven't heard what they are saying to realise that it is not that clear at all.   Just one of the numerous consequences of inadequate presentation planning!
Let's be honest. We presenters hate the planning part of presenting. Sometimes it is genuine lack of time. Sometimes we just want to avoid it, prefering to "keep it fresh and spontaneous???"

I saw it in a conference that I attended recently. The audience were left unclear about key messages as presenters fell into the familiar traps: - too much time on too many of the issues and nothing on the actions, or not enough time on the issues and too much on unjustified actions.
If any of this has a familiar ring to it why not make a start on the first good habit...clarifying your presentation objectives.
After all you only have about 15 minutes of good attention and 20 minutes maximum, so ask these questions:
What broadly speaking would I like to achieve with the audience?
1. Do I want them to simply appreciate and understand a wide range of issues or opportunities and therefore I should plan for that?
2. Or, do I want them to understand the more important issues/opportunities and recognise the actions/solutions that could be taken, and prepare for that?
3. Or, do I want them to really understand the key issues and commit to agreed actions? Is this what I should plan for?


Bob Howard-Spink is a partner in Persuadability. For more tips and advice on improving the persuasiveness of your business messages visit http://www.persuadability.co.uk/

How to really listen and influence people.

"Males have more personality than females!"  Well that's a "fighting talk" headline if ever I read one! But it's how an article on recent research by The University of Exeter on male and female behaviour was introduced. Further reading of the article did reveal however that it wasn't an ego boost for blokes! What they were actually saying is that males, be they birds, animals or humans, display a consistent set of behaviours that have evolved in connection with sexual selection. Apparently we chaps are just naturally disposed to be assertive, protective or eager to display resourcefulness because that's how a potential mate will select us. Females, it is suggested, have no such pre-occupations and display varied behaviours.
I did see some connection here with a view that I have formed over the years, that women find it easier than men to adapt their behavioural style, and are thus more able to establish rapport with others and become effective listeners.  A controversial view to express in male dominant workshops!! .... but worth saying to pursue the debate that rapport is an essential precursor to persuasion and agreement.
Pretty much everyone objects to being sold to! On the other hand when we feel that somebody sees things our way...has the same sort of values as we do...then we instinctly trust their opinions. We find it easy to open up and express our thoughts and feelings with somebody who seems to share those same thoughts and feelings.

That is what rapport achieves and there are many habits and skills we can develop that enable us to create rapport.  Without doubt, the best one to start working on is your ability to adapt your behaviour when you listen. Remember, the aim is to be an encouraging listener:  Look like you're listening. Don't interrupt. Nod and smile. Mirror their body language and emotional state, but do this subtly!! Match their conversational pace and pitch. Get into the habit of saying "Do you know..you're right...that's a good point!" Make less statements and ask more questions. Show an interest in why people say what they do and why things are important to them. Avoid overtly disagreeing.

Adapting your behaviour to be in tune with somebody is the most subtle and elegant way to show likemindedness. When you achieve that you are three-quarters of the way to achieving consensus and agreement.


Bob Howard-Spink is a partner in Persuadability. For more about influence and persuasion and for general tips and advice on improving your business messages visit http://www.persuadability.co.uk/

how to really get the best from speaker support... "AKA" Powerpoint!

It's worth asking the question "why do I use speaker-support when I present?" Most people will instantly think of Powerpoint and say "it helps the audience to see what I'm saying... It helps me to remember what to say...It's an easy way to map out my presentation."
And to be fair, that’s largely what Powerpoint has been asked to do by so many people, to help get them through a nerve wracking situation. So we can’t complain when we see presentations with far too many slides, each heavy with small text, being read by the audience with the presenter 30 seconds off the pace!
A better question to ask is “what do I want to achieve from this presentation and how can speaker-support assist this?” Then the answers you should come up with are:
"To engage attention... sustain interest... add visual interpretation to the meaning...
"To anchor messages with images and sounds... and just as importantly, to make me look good and be remembered!

And then when we think more about speaker support from the audience's perspective we discover that:
Many people actually need pictures to see meaning, so for them graphics and pictures are essential to compliment and synchronise with your spoken words.
Others need to experience the message to feel its meaning, so stories and examples using video or 3d animations will create this effect for them.
Attention is best sustained with change of medium, and by introducing props and changing screen media you will achieve that.
Perceptions and emotional interpretation of meaning is known to be influenced at a subconscious level, and subtle visual and auditory stimuli will contribute to that.
The majority of people commit to a decision after a presentation, using visual metaphors and theme images will anchor messages and increase levels of recall.
So maybe we should stop calling it Speaker Support and think of it solely from the audience's perspective. Then by incorporating some of these preceding ideas you can get up on your feet knowing you've got a really stand out, memorable and winning presentation.  

Bob Howard-Spink is a partner in Persuadability. For tips and advice on how to improve the presentation of your business message visit http://www.persuadability.co.uk/

Communication and the sweet smell of persuasion!

Thanks again to my friends at e science news (Fri October 23rd 2009) for reporting another fascinating piece of research. This work by Brigham Young University looked at the link between behaviour and scented air. They observed two control groups in exercises that indicated levels of trust, fairness, and generosity. They found clear evidence that the group in the room with "clean" lemon scented air were significantly more virtuous in their response to the exercises.
Wow! The implications of this are immense!  Is this the cure for the problems of Saturday night binge drinking in town centres ...will stewards at football grounds subdue feuding fans with air fresheners?
What about the opportunities for those of us in communication and persuasion? Lemon scented newsletters? Incense sticks during appraisals? Kew Gardens could become the conference venue of the year!!


This latest research corresponds well with our growing understanding of the "science" of communication, in particular the powerful impact of external stimuli on sub-conscious interpretation and reasoning.  Interestingly, the participants in this research didn't notice the "clean lemon" smell.
But it certainly is another reminder that there is a lot more to getting your ideas across and winning hearts and minds than just getting up on your feet with a powerpoint presentation.

Bob Howard-Spink is a partner in Persuadability. For tips and advice on getting your message across more persuasively visit http://www.persuadability.co.uk/

The Power of Perception

I love hearing about the latest scientific research on how we think, behave and communicate. And a quick thanks to http://www.esciencenews.com/ for their daily dose of eureka! This week's favourite came from the U.S. and Purdue University's study of perceptions and performance. In one experiment they looked at goal kickers...the Rugby or US Football variety. It seemed that successful goal kickers perceived the goal uprights to be wider apart and the crossbar to be lower than was the case for unsuccessful goal kickers.
The conclusion being that performance will influence perceptions. I guess this could explain why that worst ever presentation we made was due to a really tough audience!!
The goal size experiment also struck a chord with me. As a "llttle nipper" my dad would play football with me and I would be goalkeeper. The goal posts were towering oaks...driving distance apart. The "goal net" was the perimeter wall of Wormwood Scrubs.....pretty high!  The goal mouth surface was bone hard clay and gnarled tree roots....totally uninviting. The ball was a sodden cannonball...to be avoided at all cost!
These perceptions persuaded me that nothing that I might try to do would stop my dad from belting that ball "into the net!" And that my role was to retrieve the ball from the below the prison wall.
So performance may influence perception but perception most certainly influences performance. Which is why we have always found that the surest preparation for a great presentation or sales pitch is to picture success and see yourself winning.

Bob Howard-Spink is a partner in Persuadability. For tips and advice on improving your persuadability visit http://www.persuadability.co.uk/

Ensuring that your point is understood!

I'll be honest... I'm not a Manchester United fan, my loyalties are more blue and southerly. And I'm definitely not a great fan of Sir Alex Ferguson! But I have to say that his record puts him amongst the all time greats of football management.      And so I think it's a non-partisan view that I offer on his persuasion style. 

It's difficult to see any underlying classical influences like Cicero or Aristotle. Maybe some reference to Socrates? Although his questioning technique is rather more inclined to presupposition than the rhetorical. He kind of dares you to disagree more than invite consideration of the posssible.

Which is probably why he has the Football Referees Association going for him over his post-match comments following United's 2-2 home draw with Sunderland. Suggesting that the referee cost them precious playing time by taking rest breaks, he blasted Alan Wiley as "not fit to do his job!"

With punishment from the FA a real possibility, Sir Alex has since reframed his empassioned touchline "presentation" to the 4th Official... and anyone else who happened to be watching. In his statement on United’s website, he said: “My only intention in speaking publicly was to highlight what I believe to be a serious issue in the game, namely that the fitness levels of referees must match the ever-increasing demands of the modern game, which I hope will now be properly addressed through the appropriate formal channels.”

So that's what he meant!!! 
A good reminder then.  If you think you overdid the impact in your opening, and maybe lost the body of your message with too much passion and excitement, you can still always make your point and achieve your goal with a good summary and close!   

Bob Howard-Spink is a Partner in "Persuadability."  For more tips and advice on improving the impact of your business messages visit http://www.persuadability.co.uk/

Talking with the audience

I've been watching the Lib-Dem Conference this week. Not with any political interest but because I love the conference scene (even Party conferences) and I like to watch the presenters do their stuff. It's clear that some effective preparatory work has gone into the headlining speakers. TV doesn't show the speaker's full view of things, but eye movement patterns certainly suggested the deployment of autocue moniters at centre "circle seats" level, and probably to left and right too. As a result we saw the main presenters talking naturally with all of the audience. Much more effective than the "tennis umpire" look we see when glass projection screens are sited either side of the lectern.
And good to see the attention given to the "non-verbals." Chris Huhne and Tim Farron both comfortable to step away from the lectern and walk the stage to alter emphasis.
It's not so easy though when you're a "rank and file member." No stage rehearsal time for you....and reciting to the bathroom mirror in your hotel room is never the same. You've just got to get up there with speech in hand. Anchor yourself to the lectern and find a space to spread the pages. And hope that you remembered to write it in phrases that allow you to look up occasionally.
Of course that isn't how it has to be. Yes Tim Farron gave an excellent presentation with autocue as support. But he knew his speech. Because of that he was able to tell his story with feeling and animation, and enjoy it knowing that the prompt of autocue was there if needed. I reckon that one or two of the "unrehearsed" presenters knew their speech and could have done the same. Except that once you've got that blessed script in your hand it's hard to relax and go for it. Leave the script on your seat comrades....write out some cue cards..or a mind map. Then get up there and tell your story as it is!

Bob Howard-Spink is a partner in Persuadability. http://www.persuadability.co.uk/

Internal Communications - Solid foundations or wet cement?

I was recently reminded of a very successful retailer I'd met some years ago. He used to say “run a shop and you make a living....run several shops and you make money!” In practice what he did was to find a successful model and then replicate it, with every individual outlet copying that successful model, whilst at the same time feeling ownership of it.
What he created was a successful organisation of individuals, who were clear about the things they have to do.....who believed that doing those things would make everyone successful....and who understood that their energy and efforts made the difference. ......A situation that any business would prize!
That retailer also had a pretty basic way to sum up performance levels within an organisation. He called it "the law of self-levelling cement"… which argues that performance finds its own natural lowest level when left unattended. His management philosophy may have lacked present day finesse and phraseology but it’s pretty unarguable. It is the organisations who consistently reinforce what matters and why it matters who perform best. They stand on solid foundations….not on wet cement!!

Bob Howard-Spink is a partner in Persuadability. For tips and advice on how we can improve your persuadability visit us at http://www.persuadability.co.uk/

The power of subconscious persuasion

I came across a fascinating article published in the New York Times in July 2007 which delves into the question of sub-conscious communication. The author discusses several well authenticated experiments where groups of people behaved differently because of some subtle stimuli. For example, a "clean" aroma in the room encouraged tidy behaviour. Iced coffee and hot coffee given on arrival to two separate groups corresponded with the "cold" and "warm" feelings each group had when subsequently discussing the same person. Experiments with reducing light and changing temparature similarly produced changing behaviour. Other research co-relates with these findings. One experiment indicated that we have an unconscious memory thousands of times larger than our conscious one, and that our minds are accessed by a channel of unconscious thought that is exceptionally responsive to sensory stimuli. Psychologists do accept that there is still much to be discovered about the workings of the brain, but it's clear that sub-conscious communication works.  Not the infamous and subsequently confessed fake claims of the "subliminal Coke Ad," but an evident form where as we concentrate our attention on the "centre stage" action, it is the un-noticed surrounding stimuli that is simultaneously influencing our ultimate response.
And the key to this is Un-noticed. Unskilled attempts at mirroring the buyer in a one to one presentation won't do it. Blasting out "Simply the best!" as the Sales Director walks on stage won't do it!
But do it skillfully ...subtly....naturally...and all importantly, with congruence....and that will do it!


Bob Howard-Spink is a partner in Persuadability. For more tips and advice on how we can help improve your persuadability visit us at http://www.persuadability.co.uk/

The "Theo-ology of Social Media

I read a great article by Theo Paphitis of Dragon's Den fame in Mail Online where he argues for a ban in the workplace on social media websites like Facebook and Twitter, because of their time-wasting impact on business.
I love some of the phrases he uses to describe the content on such sites - "an orgy of self-indulgence and exhibitionism," and "meaningless babble and egomaniacal drivel!"
He cites the example of Portsmouth City Council who have banned staff from using Facebook after discovering that log-ins had reached 270,000 in one month. And generally he presents a compelling argument for such a ban. He struck a particular chord with me when he went on to discuss our over-reliance on emails, mobile telephones and text messaging, suggesting that "Technological progress has brought linguistic regressions." I was appalled to realise the other day that I was now habitually typing "there" for "their" and "they're" in emails.
And the other bee in my bonnet is how we mis-communicate through electronic communication because of its total dependance on words alone. A colleague in sales endured constant confusion and harrassment because of her boss's reliance on text messages to direct and control the sales team. Unfortunately we haven't all learnt that 90% of the interpretation of meaning comes through accompanying body language and voice tones!
But the fact remains that businesses will want to communicate with employees and customers, and the internet and mobile technology is a fantastic way to do that once the audience is engaged. Mobile technology, the internet and social media sites like Facebook, Twitter and Digg are arguably the perfect delivery channel to achieve this. The "opting in...community" format creates a sense of ownership with the audience, and because of this they instinctively trust content and choose to engage with messages. The huge opportunity for business is in recognising where social media is appropriate within the communication mix, and learning how to work with it to get messages across.

Bob Howard-Spink is a partner in Persuadability. For tips and advice on how we can assist you to get your message across persuasively please visit us at http://www.persuadability.co.uk/

First edition

I'm not normally given to self-promotion but since this is my inaugural post following this week's launch of the new website I don't think I'll have a better excuse or opportunity. My aim with this blog is to give you regular food for thought and hopefully action too about persuasion. Whether your interest is in improving your public speaking skills or being more successful when pitching your ideas to colleagues or clients, my hope is that your interest is met here. We'll be sharing with you news, tips and advice based on the proven, the current, the speculative, and maybe even the fanciful or irreverant!

And yes.... I have to mention the "credit crunch" or recession, however you are describing it, because like the man said (or woman) - "nothing happens until somebody sells something"

And in tough times when business is there but competition is fiercer there is no better time to raise your game to win - To refresh and refocus your business message and materials. To sharpen your presentation and persuasion skills and your all round influencing fitness levels.

To find out more about the kind of help that we and others can provide, visit us at www.persuadability.co.uk