"Stay away from my Personal Belief System!!!"

I got into a row on a Linkedin discussion group recently!
To be honest I was probably gatecrashing a private party and shouldn't have been there. It was a professional group's discussion on nominations for Internal Communicator of the Year, and I chipped in with:
"I am being serious and I do admit to being a fan. Is there anybody better than Jose Mourinho when it comes to influencing minds and outcomes with just a few words?"

It drew an immediate, curt and damning response from one member. When another member then indicated some support for Jose our friend ramped up his condemnation. I did think that comparison with a certain fascist dictator was extreme...but probably more intended to discredit our opinions rather than Jose's suitability for nomination!

I wanted to go back with a really clever and cutting response...but that would have taken too long. So it was a couple of days later when I finally thought...No, I can't let Jose be hung out like that...so I replied:
"Anonymous– I must respond. Jose’s team wholeheartedly believed in his plan and shared his vision. His competitors ultimately lost belief arguably due to his rhetoric and body language - watch him on the touchline intimidating Aaron Robben.
Short of humility? There’s no doubt of that...and I can understand how this will lessen his wider appeal. But maybe not so in his world of football…which is why Real Madrid just appointed him. "
I have to admit I did admire my very well reasoned response. But I guess it only needed one slip up...and in my case it was the word intimidating...and my friend was back in minutes waving his red card at me.
Or "resting his case" as he put it...I don't think he went in for football metaphors!
But it was also getting personal. Now the testosterone was kicking in. More than reason with him... I just wanted to get even.
Which of course is what so often happens when we get into an exchange of opinions. And the reason this happens is because our opinions are based upon a "very personal"  belief system. A set of deeply held beliefs and values that started to form when we first became aware of the world around us. That were strengthened by the behaviour and lessons of the people around us like my gran with her "there is always somebody worse off! lesson on life. And were ultimately reinforced and cemented by our own subsequent experiences of life.

Not surprisingly these beliefs and values are not for shifting. So when somebody offers opinions that attack our values...even unintentionally or indirectly...our  instinctive reaction is to attack them!
Which is why when you are trying to persuade somebody around to your point of view...to offer opinions without regard for their beliefs and values can be a pathway to a row! Especially if the subject is football!
So I m pleased that I showed maturity and didn't go back for the last word with my friend on Linkedin.
No I'm happy to let the Wall Street Journal have that with an extract from an article they published on lessons that can be learned from football managers  http://tinyurl.com/3792vb5 Under a headline The way Mourinho manages, the quote I liked was: "Mourinho may come to be seen as a rare example of a model manager: Someone from the world of sports whose methods could profitably be emulated by business managers and executives everywhere." 
I'm just wondering whether I should post that link on Linkedin?

For more posts and articles on persuasion visit http://persuadability.co.uk/ and browse the Resource Centre.