Thursday 19 November 2009

How to really listen and influence people.

"Males have more personality than females!"  Well that's a "fighting talk" headline if ever I read one! But it's how an article on recent research by The University of Exeter on male and female behaviour was introduced. Further reading of the article did reveal however that it wasn't an ego boost for blokes! What they were actually saying is that males, be they birds, animals or humans, display a consistent set of behaviours that have evolved in connection with sexual selection. Apparently we chaps are just naturally disposed to be assertive, protective or eager to display resourcefulness because that's how a potential mate will select us. Females, it is suggested, have no such pre-occupations and display varied behaviours.
I did see some connection here with a view that I have formed over the years, that women find it easier than men to adapt their behavioural style, and are thus more able to establish rapport with others and become effective listeners.  A controversial view to express in male dominant workshops!! .... but worth saying to pursue the debate that rapport is an essential precursor to persuasion and agreement.
Pretty much everyone objects to being sold to! On the other hand when we feel that somebody sees things our way...has the same sort of values as we do...then we instinctly trust their opinions. We find it easy to open up and express our thoughts and feelings with somebody who seems to share those same thoughts and feelings.
That is what rapport achieves and there are many habits and skills we can develop that enable us to create rapport.  Without doubt, the best one to start working on is your ability to adapt your behaviour when you listen. Remember, the aim is to be an encouraging listener:  Look like you're listening. Don't interrupt. Nod and smile. Mirror their body language and emotional state, but do this subtly!! Match their conversational pace and pitch. Get into the habit of saying "Do you know..you're right...that's a good point!" Make less statements and ask more questions. Show an interest in why people say what they do and why things are important to them. Avoid overtly disagreeing.
Adapting your behaviour to be in tune with somebody is the most subtle and elegant way to show likemindedness. When you achieve that you are three-quarters of the way to achieving consensus and agreement.


Bob Howard-Spink is a partner in Persuadability. For more about influence and persuasion and for general tips and advice on improving your business messages visit http://www.persuadability.co.uk/

Monday 9 November 2009

how to really get the best from speaker support... "AKA" Powerpoint!

It's worth asking the question "why do I use speaker-support when I present?" Most people will instantly think of Powerpoint and say "it helps the audience to see what I'm saying... It helps me to remember what to say...It's an easy way to map out my presentation."
And to be fair, that’s largely what Powerpoint has been asked to do by so many people, to help get them through a nerve wracking situation. So we can’t complain when we see presentations with far too many slides, each heavy with small text, being read by the audience with the presenter 30 seconds off the pace!
A better question to ask is “what do I want to achieve from this presentation and how can speaker-support assist this?” Then the answers you should come up with are:
"To engage attention... sustain interest... add visual interpretation to the meaning...
"To anchor messages with images and sounds... and just as importantly, to make me look good and be remembered!

And then when we think more about speaker support from the audience's perspective we discover that:
Many people actually need pictures to see meaning, so for them graphics and pictures are essential to compliment and synchronise with your spoken words.
Others need to experience the message to feel its meaning, so stories and examples using video or 3d animations will create this effect for them.
Attention is best sustained with change of medium, and by introducing props and changing screen media you will achieve that.
Perceptions and emotional interpretation of meaning is known to be influenced at a subconscious level, and subtle visual and auditory stimuli will contribute to that.
The majority of people commit to a decision after a presentation, using visual metaphors and theme images will anchor messages and increase levels of recall.
So maybe we should stop calling it Speaker Support and think of it solely from the audience's perspective. Then by incorporating some of these preceding ideas you can get up on your feet knowing you've got a really stand out, memorable and winning presentation.  

Bob Howard-Spink is a partner in Persuadability. For tips and advice on how to improve the presentation of your business message visit http://www.persuadability.co.uk/